Courtesy of The Financial Times, a thought on how the English language might develop should it become the official language of the European Union:

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will please the sivil servants. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", which means that keyboards kan have one less letter.

In the sekond year, "ph" will be replaced by the letter "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the third year, publik akseptance of the new spelling should reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will also encourage the removal of double letters - always a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the silent "e" is disgraseful. By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and similar shanges vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. Zen zer vil be no mor trubls and evirun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

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